Life Is Short: Get the Divorce: Why Leaving a Miserable Marriage Might Be the Healthiest Decision You’ll Ever Make

By: Elizabeth Vaz, Esq.

Date: October 16, 2025

Let’s be honest — “’til death do us part” sounded romantic when you were 27, drunk on love (and maybe champagne). But now? You’re exhausted, anxious, and feeling more like your husband’s unpaid therapist or his housekeeper, than his partner. The truth is, life is short. Too short to spend it walking on eggshells, crying in your car, or pretending everything’s fine for the holiday card. And this is not even accounting for the possibility that you may be in a toxic or abusive marriage.

If you’ve been quietly thinking, “There has to be more than this,” this is your sign. Because sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for your body, mind, and soul, is to get the divorce. And yes- this is still the case if you have children. being your best self is always good for the entire family- kids included.

Let's do a break down of the three science-backed reasons why divorce can actually make women healthier, happier, and more independent than ever.

1. Divorce Is Good for Your Health (No, Really)

Here’s something the “stay for the kids” crowd doesn’t talk about: stress kills. Anyone who has kids and is struggling in their relationship already knows this. We don't need science to tell us this. Nothing spikes your cortisol quite like living in an unhappy marriage.

The Stress Connection

According to multiple studies, women in high-conflict or emotionally draining marriages are more likely to suffer from chronic stress, heart disease, and even weakened immune systems. When your relationship feels like a second job you never get paid for, your body takes the hit.

Studies published by the American Psychological Association and others — including work by Kiecolt-Glaser, Newton, and Bookwala — have found that relationship distress is a significant predictor of poor physical and mental health. In fact, many women report that their sleep, mood, and energy levels improve after leaving a toxic marriage. That’s right: leaving can literally make you healthier.

When you finally let go of the constant arguments, the passive-aggressive silence, or the emotional neglect, your nervous system can finally relax. Suddenly, you can breathe. You can sleep. You can wake up without that heavy pit of dread in your stomach. That’s not just mental peace — that’s a biological reset. I have seen firsthand, how true this is with my clients, with my friends and with family members who have lost the dead weight of a bad relationship.

Freedom Feels Good on the Body

Post-divorce, women often report eating better, moving more, and drinking less. Why? Because you’re no longer coping with constant emotional chaos. You have the bandwidth to take care of you. The gym becomes a sanctuary (not for me- but for some), not an escape. Cooking healthy food becomes a form of self-respect, not a chore.

Divorce doesn’t just save your sanity — it saves your health. Life’s too short to die of a broken heart when you're with that wrong person, when you can thrive with one that’s finally free.

2. Divorce Is the Ultimate Glow-Up (Self-Esteem Edition)

Let’s talk about the emotional side — because the “divorce glow-up” is real. There’s something wildly empowering about taking back control of your life after years of compromising your happiness. Tell me you don't know that woman? The one who left that terrible relationship and is now looking and sounding better than ever? That's because she is in her glow-up stage. And don't we love to see it!

Rediscovering Who You Are

Somewhere between “I do” and “I can’t anymore,” a lot of women lose themselves. I may even venture to say that most do. You became the caretaker, the peacekeeper, the household manager. Maybe you even became his mother- yuck! Your dreams got smaller, your patience got longer, and your spark dimmed.

But when you divorce, you get a second shot at life; one that’s all yours. You can make decisions without explaining them to anyone. You can decorate your space exactly how you like it. You can binge-watch true crime without judgment. You can start a business without fear of him telling you that you'll fail. And yes, you can buy the expensive sheets just because you deserve them.

Psychologists call this the “post-divorce identity reconstruction.” It’s when women rediscover their hobbies, passions, and self-worth. You remember that you’re not just someone’s wife or someone’s mom — you’re you.

Confidence Looks Good on You

And let’s not pretend the glow-up isn’t physical, too. Divorce often comes with a newfound confidence that radiates. You stand taller, speak louder, and stop apologizing for taking up space. You might chop your hair, change your style, or finally book that solo trip to Italy. Take me!

Why? Because you’re no longer living for someone else’s comfort. You’re living for your own joy and it shows.

So yes, you might cry at first. You might even doubt yourself. That's okay. Just give it a few months, and you’ll be glowing in a way no highlighter could ever replicate. If you need therapy, get it. If you need to take time to grieve, take it. Whatever you need in order to mourn this relationship and start on your journey, you do that thing. Then get ready for your best future!

3. Living Independently Is the Real Happy Ending

Let’s get one thing straight: being single isn’t a failure. It’s freedom. In fact, independent women are statistically happier and healthier than those in strained marriages.

The Power of Solitude

Multiple studies have shown that women’s well-being often improves after leaving unhappy marriages. Research on post-divorce adjustment indicates that many women experience higher life satisfaction and greater psychological health once they begin living independently. For example, a large longitudinal study published in Journal of Positive Psychology found that while divorce can temporarily reduce happiness (you do need time to mourn the loss), life satisfaction tends to recover and often surpass pre-divorce levels over time (van Scheppingen & Leopold, 2019).

Meaning that you will be happier than ever. Why? Because solitude gives you time to heal, reflect, and grow.

You start making choices based on what you want — not what someone else expects. You rediscover your rhythms. Maybe you like staying up late with a glass of wine and a book. Maybe you realize mornings are sacred. I know mine are. Maybe you learn that peace and quiet are priceless luxuries.

For many women, living alone for the first time is a revelation. You realize you don’t need to be rescued. You were always capable of rescuing yourself.

Financial Independence = Emotional Independence

Let’s also talk money, because independence isn’t just emotional; it’s financial. Divorce can be the wake-up call that pushes women to take control of their finances, careers, and futures. And isn't it about time?

You can start budgeting, investing, planning for YOUR future. And then you start to realize how powerful it feels to rely on yourself. Money you once spent managing someone else’s habits now funds your own dreams and your own future self.

Financial freedom is the ultimate form of self-care. It’s the quiet confidence that no matter what happens, you’ve got you.

But What About the Fear?

Of course, divorce can be scary. It’s not just paperwork and moving boxes. It is also grief, uncertainty, and starting over. But fear isn’t a stop sign; it’s a compass pointing toward something better.

Here’s the hard truth: staying in a toxic marriage because it’s “comfortable” is just slow self-destruction dressed as stability. You can survive discomfort; what you can’t survive is soul-level exhaustion.

You don’t owe anyone your misery. Not your partner, not your family, not society. And yes, not even your kids, because what they need most is a healthy, happy parent, not a martyr. Trust me- your children will appreciate having you show up as your whole self, more than the shell of the person you are when you're with the wrong person.

Divorce isn’t the end of your story. It’s the beginning of your real one.

Life Is Short — Choose You

When you think about the years ahead, ask yourself: do you want to keep living small to make someone else comfortable, or do you want to take the risk and finally live big?

Yes, it might be terrifying at first. Yes, people may judge. Let them. People judge everything anyway and there is nothing you can do about that. Their judgment may even extend to your happiness. The difference is, you’ll finally be too busy living your best life to care what others think.

Get the divorce. Get your peace. Get your glow back. I can't wait to see it!

Because life is short — and you deserve to enjoy every damn minute of it.